We Built Walls So Our Hearts Couldn't Cross

by whenskiesaregray

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I'm losing myself. I haven't seen the sun since I can remember. This dark cloud keeps hanging around, just regret and failure. I saw beauty and kindness and warmth then found out it was just a mirage. Because the things that I dream of are gone the second that I wake up. It seems like silence has finally caught up with me. I would trade my whole life before I close the door to my heart but I just can't keep it from falling apart. And no matter what I take to mend I'm still sick and fully aware of the pain that has brought me here. Medication is just a distraction, it kills us like it kills the pain.
This white flag that I raise will cover my insecurities. I made a record of my accomplishments, but the vinyl just kept silently spinning. The pressure of waking up seems too much. The pieces of this puzzle just won't match up. I'll take all these mistakes I've collected, I will take them, and I'll build a bridge just to watch it burn. Then I'll gather regrets and throw them in this growing heap Of problems that are only getting worse. So I throw up my arms and retreat, fall to my knees and plead for the world to cave in on me. Nothing new, nothing changes But my outlook on life keeps rearranging. Nothing new when the days just repeat I'll put my head in my hands and I'll admit my defeat.
I gave time six long years to mend and hem this fraying edge. But the more it catches up the more quickly I come undone. I sit alone with hope at a distance, I reach out my arms but there's miles between us. So I braced myself for the fall because I'd rather feel pain than feel nothing at all. Being numb to the symptoms of loss will render you useless and it will carry you off, dead weight and all used up. When I'm gone I will be forgotten.
Please let me pull these arrows from my lungs, I keep coughing them up. Open arms, Embracing none. I need that warmth because the rain just pours. I still get the feeling of making no progress. And I'm still waiting for the clots to heal my chest and my heart but my breathing is labored and shallow at best. (Phil)- So I'll seek sanctuary and I'll reap what you've spared me. Though on the surface I'm currently swell my still waters run as deep as the gorging well. Sometimes I'm subject to current swells, but I guess its all water under a bridge that’s burned to hell.
I'm giving back my lungs, I dont need them they'll be useless in time. And I'm giving back my heart it's empy and hardened from the trials of life. I'm worried sick I'll have the chance to be something only to watch myself fall again. And I'm ashamed of who I've become, beaten and frayed from nothing at all. I shake hands with the ghost of who I was, not missing a beat but missing the love. I tore off the silver lining, I closed the shades on my only ray of hope and when luck came though to find me, it simply told me that I'll be facing this alone.
I focused solely on this. I found hope, embraced it, then lost it again. I've learned that being lovesick is just like winning the lottery then dying. Everyone I've ever loved I've returned incomplete, they thought that they could find what they've been missing in me. But all they got was love lost. My emotions are streetlights at the break of dawn one by one they all shut off. I breathe in but I refuse to breathe out.
I wake up to the same things, the same emptiness as yesterday. Well, I can't help but think my "glory days" have long since abandoned me. I've brought this on myself from wishing and hoping for someone to save me, to stop me from going under. I made a list of ways to take back those mistakes but when I read it back the whole page was blank. Either my pen ran out or there's just no way to apologize for wasted days. I fought long and hard to forget the past but with a broken heart and an empty flask I took the memories close and secure to my chest, then I cleared the dust from the shelves and I put them back. And we must all suffer the same fate because not everyone dies in their sleep. But what's worse than being alive and awake? And this is for all the broken heart-ed may our hearts hurt no longer.
Transparent. I am the ghost walking out of the door. Making plans I could never see through and promises I could never hold on-to. Everything I touch instantly falls apart. And the people I loved, they just played out their parts. I held the negatives up to the light and I searched for the smile I held back then. It's unclear whether I lost the will to fight or if I just found comfort in dying. And I'm sorry, I regret everything. For those I've hurt now its me who's hurting. I've been relying too much on who I was not realizing how hollow I've become.


We are putting this album out for free, although, we will accept any donations you can possibly give. Thank you for listening. Communication is encouraged.


released June 20, 2012

Brandon Winter
Tyler Meushaw
Eric Dudley

Recorded totally live by Michael York at developing nations recording studios during the cold months of 2012. Mastered by Keven Bernsten. Artwork by Colin Campbell. Additional vocals on "Trap Doors" by Phil Fosler of Octaves.

Pre-order this album on cassette!!! interskramzrecords.storenvy.com/products/435894-we-built-walls-so-our-hearts-couldn-t-cross-by-whenskiesaregray-cassette


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whenskiesaregray Baltimore, Maryland

Hardcore from Baltimore, MD.

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